hate myself

i don know why i myself would becum like an ill temper...actually i thought it might because of the final, but it's over already...i still like tat! I was being angry easily, a little thing also can arouse my anger and dander. After the anger was disappeared, i just realized that i'm so bothersome to my family i think. How could it be? How could i become like tat?OMG, i really feel compunctious to them!
When i vent on them, my mind will keep thinking that i was the most unregarded people in my family. I think it is because i'm the second children in this family. My sister is the 1st child in this family, of course my parent will be more concerned about her. By then, my eldest brother is the 1st boy in this family, same as well they will concerned more. At last is my youngest brother, no need i say who also know parents will concerned him more as well. And me? what is my position? So i always think that i was the most unregarded person. With this thinking,my anger and dander become more serious and my sadness aggravate as well. Until this moment, i still have that kind of feeling...
After all this had passed and my anger clear off, i will felt guilty to them. I shouldn't always get angry and vent it on them. But i still cant release that kind of thinking, coz i really feel unfair to myself sometimes. But Dear is right, this world wouldnt be fair always, this kind of situation is not only happen on me, others ppl in the world as well even worst for them. I should appreciate that they grew me up for 20 years and give me the best thing as they affordable. Thanks mum and dad, but i really hope ur can regard me a bit more.
I have to appoint myself to control and press down my ill temper. Actually i'm not used to treat ur like that, but all this was happen on the spur of the moment. Sorry about that, i will change myself...i promise...