你是我要的吗？

很显然地，我写在这里就是想要告诉你，你是我要的吗？
很累了，累在等你太多了...累在你常常造成的无奈...
这种累好像从来都没有停过...我知道我们已经比其他人好了...
但是我真的会想这真的是我要的好吗？
无可质疑地，你是很好很好的男朋友，你对我的好，我知道。
但是有时候真的很辛苦...真的很想让你尝试一下我的痛苦...
感觉上你真的很不了解我的忧虑，我的累...

可是又不忍心...有时候真的不想要了...虽然知道自己在说气话。

但是我真的有试过认真的考虑过...只是都没有结果...

在怀疑了，还能够再要吗？你是我要的吗？

说实在的，你的工作我真的很不喜欢...

才那么一点的钱，可是要给予的工作量真的跟你的薪水不成正比。

但这些都是你的事，我现在毫无兴趣去理会你的事了...

你爱怎样就怎样吧！我管不着...加上我们的时间很不协调...

为什么总是我要跟着你的时间去走啊？！

每次说到这个问题，你就只会说我也无法解决。

无法解决？那么是意味着我们应该就没什么结果吧？

总觉得我们真的越来越不配了，尤其是时间上...

我也束手无撤了...我们的将来就顺其自然吧！

而且我也有心理准备，我的未来未必会有你，而你的未来也未必有我！！！

这篇文章我不会告诉你，我大概可以猜到我不告诉你，你是不会知道的...

累了...不想见到你...

What a wonderful morning!!!

Today is friday.I woke up at 9.30am because i want to go to do yoga...What a wonderful morning to me!!!I felt so fresh and relax as the morning yoga...It made me felt free and i was really enjoy this kind of morning exactly!!Hahaha...
After the yoga class, i went to Pasar pagi (PP)...I have not been shopping in the pasar pagi since i had studied in my secondary school...That was really joyful and relaxable...I really hope that every friday i can do the same thing...But still left something, It is a tasty breakfast...If i can have it too, it would be perfect!!!wahahaha...However my dear have to work and no one accompany me to eat the yummy breakfast...eat alone just like a sha po i don want...
Wow, all of those stuff made me in a good humor today...so happy neh...hahaha...i felt my spiritedness was activing and stir up my passion to do my work...hehehe...

I think i'm a person who aspire after the leisurely life and not really pursue for those busy and strife openly and secretly life...haiz, how come i could be this kind of ppl...i should be aggresive and energetic person what, that's my future job's attributes requirement i think...But leisurely life really good to me...OMG...just take thing as they come...
Now go and eat lunch 1st...By then go and work...cheerio...baby!!!yeah...

好久没更新

忘了多久没有更新了...就算很无聊也没有想要写，可能就是因为我的生活太无趣了吧...

好久没有狂欢过了，只因为最近都是过着平淡的生活...哈哈，什么时候没有过平淡的生活了？！
莫名其妙的！可是平淡生活也很好啊，我喜欢...可是偶尔来点小刺激也是不错啦！
最近根本觉得facebook闷掉了，越来越没有东西玩了...无奈...放空自己是我最近一直在做的
事情，很舒服咯...完全不去想东西，就这样发呆...当我发呆过后，再去想东西头脑变得更清晰了。
所以偶尔发呆也是不错的活动...
最近也在学着怎样放开，怎样什么都可以无所谓，怎样什么都可以没关系，
怎样去看轻一些根本不值得看重的事...be，要好像你这样，真的很难咯！我看这个世上要找到
像你这种人真的不容易咯...夸张人！！！哈哈哈...我会向你看齐的，因为我要做仙...哈哈哈...
最近的课业很不同，跟过往的比会较复杂...可能我还不适应它们咯...我会多花时间去陪你们的啦!真的
越来越靠近毕业咯，期待中,真的很想知道外面的世界，很想踏入这个社会...读书真的很无聊，
浪费时间，虽然是这样，还是得把它完成...人就是要活得这么无奈吗？
最近看到一个句子很有意思
“选择员工的标准：要有品格，干劲，才智。如果他没有第一个准则，他将会让你痛苦..."
我想大概是这样的意思，我背不起来...只知道它的意思，是Buffett 写的哦！
聪明人就是不一样！

New uni life again

Since one month holiday had passed so fast, i have to ready and adjust my mood and mode again...18th January was the 1st day of my Y2S3...today so happy to see my colleague again...
hahaha...I was quite satisfied with the time table of this sem, because i juz have to study for 4days only...hahaha...Good!!!But it also have the price...tat was Monday class started from 8am to 8pm la...so sad...The schedule made me could not go for yoga almost...wuwuwu...so pity me...

The 1st week was really relax and nothing pressure at all...The activity we do on class juz talk and talk...chit chat here and chit chat there...although some activity i cant join them, i still felt happy wif them la...hahahaha...then thursday we went to ipoh shopping, Katherine and me drove to ipoh and fetch all the other sampat went there...hahahaha...although the trip was damn tired, i still enjoyed the trip la and happy to go out wif all of them...hehehe...

very lazy to write...hahahah...

Nothing...

Time passing fast like an arrow, one week already passed for my holiday...But the time seem like walking in a slow speed made me felt that the time was difficult to pass... A bit boring...OMG!!! I was lost my interest in watching drama, playing facebook...Although i still playing that, my interest had been reduced a lot about FB...

Seem like lost interest in everything, nothing can made me felt addict to...Oh no, then my life will be no meaning right?!Haiya, don know how to say that kind of silly and helpless feeling...Maybe 2009 have to pass and turn to 2010...A bit upset about the fact, why the time will be as fast as i cant imagine?Until now i still cant accept that i was a 2o girl, but the time still passing and passing...my receptivity still in slow progress, hahaha...it's the compulsory period i think...

This holiday i had travelled to Penang, the trip was with my bebe...quite a nice trip!However still have some unhappy thing happen but doesnt matter...Hope that everyday also can be in travelling. It's very nice for me to travel here and there...At least still have something to do, not like now nothing to do...everyday doing the same thing, sleeping, eating, watching and waiting...

In conclusion, my latest life is really boring and no meaning!!! He can't bring any stimulation and energization for me...really helpless...

24/12/2009-25/12/2009

25th December as we know, it's called Christmas eve... This is a "big" day for christian but actually it's not only important for christian, perhaps everyone oso like christmas. We can find our friends come out and gathering. By then, all the friends may have an activity, so called gift exchange! It suppose to be the most expected activity as well...hahaha...no, not everyone like this lo...hahaha...

Let's note down those stupid things that i had done while preparing the activities for my bebe...
haiz, actually everything is all right at the start, actually all of those stupid and idiot stuff was caused by myself.

On 24th was yesterday, i intended to buy a gift for my dear and i went to Ipoh alone. The first place tat i went to was Ipoh parade, coz my ideal gift was located in Ipoh parade, tat was a short pant, which he had tried before and made him looked very nice. I thought tat i was courageous because tat's my first time went to Ipoh parade and tat's the first time i went up to the 5th floor parking...hahahaha...so brave me...hahahaha...no la...juz kidding...Then after i had bought my gift then i left Ipoh parade and suddenly i want to go Jusco and buy the midnite movie ticket and give him a surprise...so i go there...Jom...

After i had arrived Jusco, walao, so many ppl had been there already. I had spent a lot of time to find out a parking place for me and got off. Finally i had bought the movie ticket which was on midnight 12.30 am and that movie called The bodyguard and assassin. Then i oso want to leave Jusco and i went to pay for the parking ticket. I no need to pay as well coz not enuf one hour so din charge any price. I walked back to my car and hold the ticket on my hand. When i got up to my car, OMG my ticket had lost. I found and found but no result as well, so i called my bebe, he said that i can went and asked the Jaga there. At tat time, i was so nervous and scared, don know wat to do as well. Then i went and ask information counter, they said if lost the card, the loser had to pay RM 20, OMG!!!i juz paid it and don want find already, then they gave me another card after i had paid. Then i got back to my car and i found and saw it was at the ohter site, the sit beside me...OMG, i want to faint in tat moment, i really regret why i cant calm down and find carefully. I want to cry already... Ma de!!!!!Damn fxcking machine and Damn shit parking system!!!!!haiz, then i juz felt helpless and drove back to home with a broken heart...Damn!!! Haiz, tat's called fate i think...But after a few minutes, i had been recovered already, juz accepted the fact ba...So tis was the bad thing happen on me 24th...

Finally the darkness was arrived and transform to the night already, then i had to be ready for going out wif my bebe... Hahaha...so he told me that he was busy and until 8.30 pm juz release from his job, damn job!!! So that, after he and i were finished to dress up, then we got going to Ipoh and started our celebration...hahaha, at first, we went to Ipoh garden and had our dinner 1st. That restaurant called Scotchland, he ordered a chicken chop and i ordered a garlic steak. Then the value tat the restaurant gave us was the ratio of price and satisfaction was not balanced, the value = 3:2!!! The taste was still ok and the atmosphere was still ok not good as well. Don know why there got a lot of reputation, really freaking me out!!!

Then we went to another place Oldtown and ate again, coz the food size tat scotchland gave was very small and the price charge higher than wat i expected, coz really unworth!!!! After finished our dishes at Kopitiam, we went to another place, tat's a place called De Garden, it was a new building behind Court de, and got a function there. We went and look around then juz went to watch our movie. Then we realized De Garden had opened a nice cafe and the building also very nice, so next time we decided to cum and tried the new opening cafe...hehehehe... Then walked here and there when the time was reached to 12.30am, we went to cinema lu....

The movie was really nice although there got a lot of violent scene, but i felt really really tired at tat moment, so i fell in sleep already, but juz for a while only...hahaha,those excited scene i din see leh...haiz...so Cham... Then after the movie show, we got back to our home, and he still wan to say he din buy me any thing, and he want to present it for me on the next day coz i oso got bought him a gift ady... After we arrived our hometown, he said he got something to give me, ooo...i suppose to know tat he was lying to me...then he present me a bag from padini la...it's nice la, bcoz Bebe, everything tat u give i oso love it... Thanks ya...beloved bebe...hahahaha...

hate myself

i don know why i myself would becum like an ill temper...actually i thought it might because of the final, but it's over already...i still like tat! I was being angry easily, a little thing also can arouse my anger and dander. After the anger was disappeared, i just realized that i'm so bothersome to my family i think. How could it be? How could i become like tat?OMG, i really feel compunctious to them!
When i vent on them, my mind will keep thinking that i was the most unregarded people in my family. I think it is because i'm the second children in this family. My sister is the 1st child in this family, of course my parent will be more concerned about her. By then, my eldest brother is the 1st boy in this family, same as well they will concerned more. At last is my youngest brother, no need i say who also know parents will concerned him more as well. And me? what is my position? So i always think that i was the most unregarded person. With this thinking,my anger and dander become more serious and my sadness aggravate as well. Until this moment, i still have that kind of feeling...
After all this had passed and my anger clear off, i will felt guilty to them. I shouldn't always get angry and vent it on them. But i still cant release that kind of thinking, coz i really feel unfair to myself sometimes. But Dear is right, this world wouldnt be fair always, this kind of situation is not only happen on me, others ppl in the world as well even worst for them. I should appreciate that they grew me up for 20 years and give me the best thing as they affordable. Thanks mum and dad, but i really hope ur can regard me a bit more.
I have to appoint myself to control and press down my ill temper. Actually i'm not used to treat ur like that, but all this was happen on the spur of the moment. Sorry about that, i will change myself...i promise...